Receptacles
by Amber May
I am accustomed to being
wanted more than wanting.
A diva of love in my youth
I could afford to turn my nose up requesting only green M&Ms
by the bowl full
Afraid of other substances
I made myself sick on sweet
afraid of penetration
I skipped the finger-in-throat trend
kept the too much inside
prayed to Time to gag itself
of too much me
Two decades later I love you
and what's the big deal
just a soft verb on a power trip
cracking the shell of acorn
before Eden has conceived
its cellular potential
​
I've heard it's good
to be loved by me but
then again, my endless threshold
to give is a lot
to take.
​
Please,
whitewash your fear
and feminize your force field.
Receive my heart as I receive
your cock with a groan
with a god
deep deep as it goes
yes yes as it goes
fuck love
catch your breath and
fuck me love me love fuck
forever me whatever me
forever is only now
so don't be afraid
​
As a child my heart pumped
a blood rainbow.
Those are the colors
that is the throbbing
with which
I want to be told, I love you
I want to say, I love you
say it before my teeth erode
from all these
I love yous
I swallow like vomit
when there's
no proper receptacle
around