top of page


by Amber May

I am accustomed to being

wanted more than wanting.
A diva of love in my youth

I could afford to turn my nose up requesting only green M&Ms

by the bowl full


Afraid of other substances

I made myself sick on sweet

afraid of penetration 

I skipped the finger-in-throat trend

kept the too much inside

prayed to Time to gag itself 

of too much me


Two decades later I love you 

and what's the big deal

just a soft verb on a power trip

cracking the shell of acorn 

before Eden has conceived 

its cellular potential

I've heard it's good 

to be loved by me but

then again, my endless threshold 

to give is a lot

to take. 


whitewash your fear
and feminize your force field.
Receive my heart as I receive 

your cock with a groan

with a god 

deep deep as it goes 

yes yes as it goes  

fuck love

catch your breath and

fuck me love me love fuck

forever me whatever me 
forever is only now 
so don't be afraid

As a child my heart pumped 

a blood rainbow.

Those are the colors 

that is the throbbing 

with which

I want to be told, I love you 
I want to say, I love you

say it before my teeth erode

from all these 
I love yous
I swallow like vomit
when there's
no proper receptacle

bottom of page